Season 6 Crackpot Speculation Haiku

Whatever Happened...
Happened, Right? Not So Fast, Hoss.
So Is Dead Still Dead?

S2E18 Dave Haiku

I'm Doin' Trust Falls
For Sweet Libby the Moonbeam
Lucky Guy Hugo

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S2E17 Lockdown Haiku

"You Think I'm Stupid?"
Hate To Say It, John - He Does.
And So Does Benry.

S2E16 The Whole Truth Haikus

You see what happens?
Ask nicely, you get answers.
Of course they're all lies...

Henry's one of Them.
Something will have to be done.
In good time, Sayid.

In Excelsis Crackpotum: Alt-Timeline in Season 6?

(Wherein I Momentarily Abandon 5-7-5 and Make My Argument for the Possibility of the Alternative Timeline as a Plot Element in Season 6.)

In the interest of keeping my own blog relatively free of logorrhoea , I have taken the liberty of presenting my case over at the Donald Is Lost blog.

In a recent episode of his excellent Podcast, Donald purported to debunk many of the theories that I believe may be indicating the possibility of an Alternate Timeline motif for Season 6. I, having found his arguments unconvincing, decided to impose myself upon his blog in an uncharacteristically verbose set of bullet points.

This is the thread.

Donald says he will be addressing my arguments, as well as those of Jed Findlay, in a future edition of his Podcast. Should be fun!

Feel free to comment here if you like - back me up, shoot me down - I'm OK either way. But Donald gets way more traffic than I ever will, so you might want to post comments over at Donald's blog - there will be a chance that someone will actually read them.

S2E15 Maternity Leave Haiku

Ben: "Why would I lie?"
Oh Boy, Let Me Count the Whys...
Reason One: You're Ben!!!

Benry Gale & John,
Manipulation Starts Here,
Ends When John's Un-Locked.

S2E14 One Of Them Haiku

To Paraphrase Locke:
"I Need To Watch That Again"
Too Much To Absorb!

Is He One Of Them
Or Is He One Of Your People
It's All Relative

S2E13 The Long Con Haiku

Oh, This Is Just Great
Trust Issues Sucked Already
Thanks A Lot Saywer!

S2E12 Fire + Water Haiku

"You Have To Save Him.
You Have To Save The Baby!"
Charlie Ain't Done Yet...

It Comes Down To This
I Will Not Mince Words, My Friends
Libby's Fucking HOT!

S2E11 The Hunting Party Haikus

Don't Cross That Line, Jack!
You Just Don't Have What It Takes...
...When It All Goes Wrong

Locke Has Got A Point.
Don't Tell Mike What He Can't Do,
That's The Island's Job.

S2E10 The 23rd Psalm Haiku

The Jesus Stick
"Things I Need To Remember."
umm... "That's Not Yemi?"

S2E09 What Kate Did Haiku

Patsy Cline! Janis!
Up In the Tree, Looking Great!
I Miss The Old Kate...

S2E08 Collision Haiku

Don't Stop And Think, Jack
Just Get The Guns. Or Maybe...
Sit Down - Read A Book.

S2E07 The Other 48 Days Haikus

Nathan In The Hole
Ana's In Charge - Deal With It
Fatal Defiance

This Goodwin Fellow
Pretty Good At Snapping Necks
Cluckety Cluck Cluck

S2E06 Abandoned Haiku

Got A Real Boyfriend...
Gee, Story's Kind Of Sad... Uh Oh!
Y'Know What That Means...

S2E05 ...In Translation Haiku(s)

"Fish." The Dude Said "Fish".
So Shut Up and Let Him Fish.
Damn! That Dude Can Fish!

New Sheriff In Town
And Boys, She Is One Badass
Ana Lucia

The Destiny Book
Tell Ya Who Needs To Check It
Jae Lee, Man - He's Toast

S2E04 Everybody Hates Hugo Haiku

The Good Book Says it:
"Woe Unto You Who Are Rich"
Give It Away, Dude.

S2E03 Orientation Haiku

Your Asshole Daddy?
Hot and Bothered Peg Bundy?
Tough Choice John. Really?

Non-Rewatch Non-Haiku Post About Them Oceanic/Mr. Cluck /John Walsh Videos

You know, the videos from ComicCon 2009

I'm sure you've seen 'em....

Just in case you haven't here they are....








They clearly indicate that some significant changes have taken place as a result of Juliet's last(?) act of defiance.

Does it mean, though, that Jack's plan 'worked'? Not at all clear - that's a real problem when you toss in a bunch of variables.

But I believe that Alex Hahn and I were onto something back around "Namaste" (though I'm sure we were not the only ones) about the way the Others' barracks looked as Sun and Frank arrived and were greeted by Christian. I posted this on Donald's blog back in April:

"Caller Alex’s point about the Processing Center sign - that still bugs me too. That is clearly a Dharma remnant and the hostiles/others purge cleaned out the outward signs - or at least stuck them in a drawer. I’m not saying that this means a classical alternate timeline, but it just doesn’t belong there. Something smells fishy in 2007 New Otherton. I don’t have an answer, just questions…"

OK, so according to the videos, Oceanic has a record of perfect safety, winning the Lotto has made Hurley a blissful CEO/Milionaire, and Kate did not kill her asshole daddy, but some other dude. We know all these things to be untrue Pre-Incident.

I looked at the episode Namaste again - as Christian is showing Sun and Frank the Processing Center, the camera pans across the room - there are still signs hanging from the ceiling: "Assignments","Uniforms" and "Innoculations".

Really, now - there's no way that the Hostiles/Others left that old Dharma-era crap hanging around and befouling their little Pleasant Valley Sunday lifestyle.

Yeah, well now I'm pretty much convinced - my instincts in April were correct. In this particular reality/timeline, the purge never happened.

Booya!

S2E02 - Adrift Haiku

Game Of Poker, Mike?
They've Stacked The Deck - Check Your Cards
They've Dealt You Pure Shit

S2E01 Man Of Science Man Of Faith Haiku

Sarah's Toes Wiggle!
Miracle, Man Of Science?
Planting Seeds Of Faith.

S1E23/24 Exodus Haikus

Season One Finale Special!
Multi-Haiku Edition!
Featuring Bonus Ellipses...

Not Tuned In Today?
Locke's Island Forecasting Fails.
It's Raining Arzt's Parts...

S.S. Minnow Sails!
Quite The Fearless Crew, Ain't They?
"Good Thing We Found You..."

Whispers And Black Smoke.
Means They're Coming For The Boy!
No, Not You Goober...

Kate's Got Your Back, Jack.
But About That Locke Problem?
You've Got No Idea...

S1E23/24 Exodus "Redemption Song"

'Redemption Song'
Four Versions
A YouTube Playlist

MICHAEL: You singing Bob Marley?
SAWYER: No. Why, you like Bob Marley?
MICHAEL: Man, who doesn't like Bob Marley?

Bob Marley (Acoustic Verion)
Pascal Glanville (Solo Stick Version)
Joe Strummer & the Mescaleros
Ziggy Marley & the Chieftains

S1E22 Born To Run Haiku

Sun's A Good Liar
Seems To Be In Her Nature
Kate Pales Next To Sun

S1E21 - The Greater Good Haiku

There's Always A Choice.
Sometimes, All Involve Some Pain.
Turnip Head? Goober?

S1E20 Do No Harm Haiku

Gotta Fix What's Broke.
That's The Kind Of Guy He Is.
Or Was... The Old Jack...

S1E19 Deus Ex Machina Haiku

It Comes Down To This:
You Build The Trap Piece By Piece.
But Who's Trapping Whom?

S1E18 The Numbers Haiku

Dark Territory?
Ravings Of A Disturbed Mind?
You've Opened The Box.

S1E17 In Translation Haiku

It Is A Good World,
Doesn't Matter What You've Done.
Jin Has A Cool Dad.

S1E13 Hearts And Minds - 'La Mer'

Four Versions - A YouTube Playlist:


Boris kicks ass on this
(The solo guitar version)
Don't miss this one, folks...

S1E16 Outlaws Haiku

Doing Shots In Hell.
It'll Come Back Around, Hoss.
It Wasn't Your Fault.

S1E15 Homecoming Haiku

"Who Are You People?"
(Has Claire Been To The Temple?)
Ethan's Not Telling.

S1E14 Special Haiku

Michael's Möbius Interruptus:

"We're Taking The Kid."
"Sorry, He's Weird - Take Him Back!"
Repeat. Then Blow Up.

Short Note on Haiku Syntax and Form

Up until the S1E08 Haiku, I'd been playing fast and loose with the 5-7-5 format - splitting sentences and what not.

No mo'.

Made the conscious decision that from now on, discipline will be self-imposed to ensure that each line will be a discrete and complete thought unto itself.

A little harder to compose, but I like the results once they are done....

S1E13 Hearts And Minds Haiku

Rich Kids - Half-Siblings
Still... Go Find A Real Boyfriend
(And Get Yourself Shot)

S1E12 Whatever The Case May Be Haiku

Me Kate. Me Throw Rock.
Me Swim, Climb Tree, Rassle Boy.
Me Look Great In Thong.

S1E11 All The Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues Haiku

Log Carrying Guy!
Not On Hurley's List - Uh Oh!
He Seemed So Nice, Too...

S1E10 Raised By Another Haiku

Without Mama Claire
No Happiness For Goober
Got The Memo, Kate?

S1E09 Solitary Haiku

Build It, They Will Come
Second Tee - A Mulligan
Zen Master Hugo

S1E08 Confidence Man Haiku

It's About Bunnies.
It's About Friends, Too. And Dude,
You're Gonna Want Some.